Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Too stupid to own a computer

This has got to be one of the funniest we've heard in a long time.

I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is an
Allegedly true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the Customer Care Department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired. However, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination Without Just Cause."
___________________________________________________

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they
record these conversations)!

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's
dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes, -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

2 comments:

Jess said...

That is agonising. Even to someone who seems to break computers just by turning them on. I do hope they he/she gets their job back. This sounds like the final straw on a day when they'd been asked every stupid question in the book.

It isn't easy dealing with idiots, particularly when your technical knowledge is extensive. I have a friend who has a degree in computer science, ccna courses and who knows what else to his name and this is the kind of thing he has to face, as a technician. I suspect he could go much further than technician but it's his choice.

Still, if he ever came across someone who didn't know that a computer needed electricity in order to function, I do really think he would cry.

Chris Kotting said...

Actually, this post originally came form alt.shenanigans, and is described pretty fully on Snopes.com. I am fortunate enough to count the Author and his Wife (who is pertinent to the story) as my best friends.

It is not strictly a true story, it is a combination of truth and fantasy. For details:
http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperfect.asp

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