Saturday, October 31, 2009

New English

The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby

English will be the official language of the state, rather than German

which was the other possibility.

 

As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that

English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year

phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, if nobody

will be offended, "Austrionics")..

 

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".  Sertainly, this will

make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard "c" will be dropped in

favor of the "k".  This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan

have one less letter.

 

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the

troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words

like fotograf 20% shorter.

 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted

to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

 

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have

always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the

horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"

with z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining

ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu

understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl 

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